But society begs to differ. We know singles are probably having much more sex than married couples. We're bombarded with this "if it feels good, do it" mentality. And many local churches want to desperately reach society or fit in with it, so they simply oblige to the cultural norm. You know, they want to be relevant and cutting edge. Now no one is knocking relevancy, but what’s more relevant in modern day than the issue of sex. Sexual innuendos are often used to sell anything from toothpaste to Gatorade, bubble gum to deoderant. The sex industry is nearly a $100 billion business annually. And church conferences usually lead the way for pornography pay-per-view channel subscriptions, within hotels and motels. When we see a male feministic-choir-director or over sensitive worship leader, what usually comes to mind? Or, how many people in your church are shacking up together, unmarried but freely having sex with their so called "partner?" The proof is in the pudding and track records of behavior rarely ever lie.
So why are churches so closed-minded about this issue? The concern may lie with the uglyside of church. One of the top reasons, over recent years, for pastoral failures has been infidelity; a leading cause of local church splits as well. Many Christian men and women are addicted in one form or another to sex; even the author of this blog isn’t exempt. Presently, I live in Atlanta which is one of the leading cities in the nation for homosexual pastors and churches. It’s also the headquarters for Exodus International, a leading organization in America helping Christians break free from homosexuality.
So again, why aren’t local churches addressing this issue more? Maybe it’s too painful, shameful of an issue to deal with. Could it be that pastors and leaders don’t want their own dirt and addictions within this area exposed. But I heard a minister say,
“We’re only as sick as our secrets!”
And the symptoms of sexual secrets are abundant, leaving us gravely ill. The illnesses may be seen as emotional baggage, sleepless nights due to sexual discontent, extreme pornographic addiction, lustful soap opera and romance novel fanaticism, etc. Our faculties are affected in numerous ways: emotionally, psychologically, physically, and even vocationally. So full fledged ministry doesn’t exempt us from addressing the secrets within ourselves. Still, there are many things we need to do for “real freedom.”
For starters, we should at least stop ignoring the pink elephant in the room–sex. It’s all over: television, songs, peer pressure, comedy shows, at the office, and in the church. Secondly, we need to deal with it; and I mean deal with it seriously. Jesus, Paul and others made no bones about that. A healthy place to start is with your own heart, getting out of denial and thinking you’re squeaky clean. Here is a resource that can help immensely (click on the broadcast "Recovering from False Intimacy"). Thirdly, you should intentionally get around better people who aren’t so sexually-driven. This list can go on and on. But instead of getting overwhelmed, just get started with the first thing. God is more than willing and able to give us victory in this area. All we need to do is be real, surrender and let Him do it.