What's Your Number?

What's Your Number? is a movie based on Karyn Bosnak's book---20 Times a Lady. The plot is based on this storyline: 

"When Delilah reads a survey revealing most people have 10.5 sexual partners in their lifetime, she begins to feel like a tramp. She's slept with 19 men so far—almost twice the national average. During a self-help moment, Delilah vows to cap her "number" at 20, swearing that she'll save her last spot for the right guy. But after losing her job she has a wild night on the town and falls into bed with Mr. Wrong.

Unwilling to up her number but unable to imagine a life of celibacy, Delilah dreams up a foolproof plan: she'll track down every man she's ever slept with in a last-ditch effort to make it work with one of them. Hitting the road in a rental car, she begins a madcap adventure that takes her across the country, from New York to Chicago, New Orleans to LA.

A hilarious romp through Delilah's past loves, What's Your Number? shines a spotlight on every woman's dirty little secret and proves that, when it comes to matters of the heart, sometimes numbers only tell a fraction of the story." (from Bosnak's Blog)

Now I'm by no means acknowledging fornication and promiscuity; but, I'm rather more focused on the title than the storyline. So "What your number?" is the topic at hand, not the novel or movie.

What's all this fascination with continuous counting, numerous zeros, projection figures and lofty numbers? Why does it matter so much? It's not unusual to see someone counting their calories, making certain they don't go over their prescribed daily intake. It's not unusual to hear water cooler lingo surrounding the amount of zeros in this month's lottery winnings. It's not even unusual to watch your supervisor pressure your team to match, maybe even exceed, projection figures for the company. And it's not really unusual to find leaders evaluating high numbers, large crowds and a hefty following as equivalent to success.

But what about the Church? What about your local church? What about the leaders there? Should we all be caught up in numbers? Even if it's an accepted way of life, is that how it really should be? Are numbers the main thing that matter, across the board (work, church, school, family, etc.)? Sometimes these questions prick a nerve, which tend to indicate something's grossly wrong here. Too often, many Christians base success by an astronomical number system. The local church has to be a mega one, or have at least multiple locations. The pastor has to reach millions through radio, television, books and online. Or else, their ministry is not a growing one, with power and relevancy. The giving has to come to a certain amount in the offering, if not, the members there are robbing God. The list can go on and on.

As of late, I have experienced Christian leaders, who are immersed with the numbers. So they purchase buildings they really can't afford, for an expectant influx of attendees. Others have jumped from conference to conference looking for the latest leading trend to follow, that presents large numbers. For some apparent reason many have forgot the sentiment that,

"Bigger and more expensive is not always better." 

Jesus discipled 12 men, and one of them betrayed Him. But the others, including the apostle Paul, were used to revolutionize the world. He didn't mind teaching lessons on leaving the 99 to go after the one, with heaven and the angels still rejoicing over that single soul. According to Barna, small churches of 200 or less are the majority of churches in America. You can be greatly effective, even if you only assist a few elderly at the nursing home. Or instead of feeding the world, you help restock your area's local food bank. Mentoring a small group of teens or visiting some prisoners can work wonders for their morale. Let's get away from only impressing the masses, catering to the crowds and going after the numbers. The small things in life count, and we should not mind counting them as big things.

Jerk Behavior...

As I go throughout life I realize abundant goals, awe-inspiring dreams, and budding potential that is highly reachable. But, there's also another thing I realize more and more along with my life progression. That is the misappropriation of my identity...or in other words, I start to lose myself---getting caught up in prospering pursuits. This idiosyncrasy I refer to as JERK BEHAVIOR!

New Boyz is a jerkin crew and hip-hop/rap duo made up of rappers Earl "Ben J" Benjamin and Dominic "Legacy" Thomas from Hesperia, California. They debuted in summer 2009 with their viral hit, "You're a Jerk", taken from their debut studio album Skinny Jeanz and a Mic, released in September 2009. The song peaked in the top thirty of the Billboard Hot 100, and it was the first song to bring the jerkin' style to the national forefront. ^[1]

Jerkin' or Jerk is a Los Angeles dance movement.^[2] The Jerk movement started in 2008 in Los Angeles and spread across Southern California. Since 2009, jerkin' has gained fans along the West Coast and is gaining popularity on the East Coast.^[3]
The dance itself consists of moving your legs in and out called the "jerk", and doing other moves such as the "reject", "dip", and "pindrop".^[4][5]
Now, I realize that our present day society likes to rephrase things away from their understood meaning. Bad means good. @#!*% means homeboy. Dope means fresh. Stupid means impressive. The funny thing though is you know down deep within that the word is still connected to its root meaning.

As far as I'm concerned, as well as much of society, "Jerk still means jerk!" And, during this past year I have had many episodes of jerk behavior. No, it didn't mean cool or a popular dance move, but it actually meant what it usually means. I was not expressing myself completely in a Godly manner. I'm not going to lie, I have experienced a heap of disappointments, deaths of loved ones, internal hurt, burnout, limitations, physical pain, intense frustration, etc. and it just seemed to hit me all at once. Furthermore, it's like it nearly even climaxed at the beginning of this year...Not a good feeling!

I have to be honest with myself...I was @#!*% ---at myself, at other people, and even pretty mad at life. Unintentionally, I ended up hurting a few people in search of some type of relief from my plight. Since then I have somewhat bounced back from this ordeal and is starting to become again my jubilant self. But, when life comes crashing down on you that's not necessarily a jubilant moment or laughing matter. In addition, when you're the one usually ALWAYS giving out you rarely find others who can put back into you what you've dispersed---comfort, joy, support, etc.---thus it just adds to the problem. Thankfully, I surrendered ALL of it to God and stopped trying to carry it all myself. To make a long story short, I am now at a point in my life where I have to make amends for the damage I caused---even if it was with only a few people.

I have to apologize in speech and action letting them know in no uncertain terms...that I was being a real JERK---with no excuses for it. Oh, what a freeing release to forgive, and make amends (even regardless of the response)! I pray that if you're anything like me you begin doing the same! C'mon, let's get back to our jubilant selves or the best part of us as individuals---ultimately making God look as good as He actually is (in our lives)!
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1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Boyz
2. http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1615680/20090710/story.jhtml
3. http://www.laweekly.com/2009-08-06/music/we-8217-re-jerkin-8217/
4. http://www.examiner.com/x-971-LA-Pop-Media-Examiner~y2009m7d23-The-Ranger
5. http://news.tubefilter.tv/2009/07/31/skinny-jeans-movement-bringing-jerkin-online/

The High Road

Boy oh boy, me and some of my fellas' were playing some basketball one weekend not that long ago, and it happened. We got tried...! Yeah, this dude came out of no where and joined our game in a three-on-three match up. So, we went along with it and went to hooping on the b-ball court.

The main problem occurred when 'that dude' started mouthing off like he was grand. Not only that, he began to direct much of the verbiage to me. Despite my size and calmness, it doesn't take too much to rile me up (something God is working on me deeply). Hey, I started mouthing off back at him. As a grown man, I'm not with the bullying. At the moment of things nearing an escalating stage, something happened!

We brought focus back to the basketball game at hand and off of the jerk causing all the ruckus. In other words, we took the high road. The high road is a road less traveled by many and it's sort of similar to the narrow road in Matthew 7:13-14. To be honest, we were on the verge of making a stupid decision and thankfully God brought us back to our senses. We have to be ever cognoscente of the fact that, as Christians, we're "born again---new creations" and the old us has passed away. In other words, we have a new nature that we should be working on implementing and shouldn't be so enticed to revert back to our old nature.

After the basketball incident, we conversed about how the dude was itching for a fight at any cost. He wanted to fight even if he was going to lose. He didn't care. A friend of mine denoted that this individual was being influenced by demons. Also, we became vaguely aware that the situation could have ended up with us getting shot or worse (physically dying)---all over a basketball game. In hindsight, I became more aware of the truth that "hurting people seek to hurt people." See, this individual could have been having a bad day, and it's no telling what kind of devastating issues had just transpired in his life. God noted that the POWER OF LOVE is the greatest healer. It can heal every hurt! Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).

The unfortunate thing is that I was reluctant to show love but was more concerned with standing my ground. More important, I know that I'm NOT ALONE in thinking like that. Most men are taught to be macho instead of loving. I know we have always heard the saying, "I'm a lover not a fighter." Many of us should take this more to heart.